Are you mystified by the world of internet dating? If you are looking to find love, have sex or intimate encounters with new people online then hopefully this guide will help you save time and a lot of trial and error by weeding out the poor, scammy or fake sites and recognize the real and genuine websites that are the best for finding an emotional or sexual partner online or using smartphone apps.
What or Who are You Looking for Online?
The first consideration is to think about what it is exactly that you are looking for and even what kind of person. Are you looking for an emotional connection, good quality conversation, romance and potentially a date if you pluck up the courage? or are you looking for no strings attached sex or a new intimate encounter or F**k buddy?
Why is this important? because there are a hell of a lot of dating and hook up sites online these days and many of them are only good for one type of thing or a specific niche I mean hell there is even Uniform Dating a site dedicated to people who wear uniforms in their professional life and/or the people who love them! On the other hand there are more up market dating websites and then there are fetish and dogging websites so to ensure you don’t waste your time the first step is decide which category you fall into. Dating & Romance sites or Fetish and No Strings Sex Dating sites.
Take Safety Precautions When Dating on the Internet!
You should take all precautions possible even when you first begin to talk and engage with someone online not just if or when you consider actually meeting them in person.
Don’t share your personal details too soon, this includes the town you live in, mobile number, social media accounts and in some cases and on certain sites it is even advisable to not disclose your name, pick a cute pseudonym instead for added anonymity.
Don’t share explicit images of yourself or if you really must at least ensure they don’t include your face or any tattoos that can give away your identity unless you are really sure and don’t care about the possible repercussions.
Take your time, don’t rush into anything, get to know the people you decide to talk to.
Be honest, don’t create a fake profile, use photos which are so old you are unrecognizable or embellish (too much at least). We all have to brag a little.
When you find someone you like enough to actually take it to the next step and meet in person there are additional and more important precautions you can and SHOULD take.
Meet in a public place where there are plenty of people at a busy time of the day. This is the single best piece of advice ever given. You should really build a bond and trust before any random late night encounters in the middle of nowhere unless you really love to run the risk.
Tell a friend where you are going, what time and the purpose so that if they do not hear from you by a certain time they can call the authorities or anyone else that may be able to help in that situation.
While we advise not to meet strangers in cars or at night it inevitably happens, especially on some of the more risque sex orientated websites. If this is the case ensure you leave a copy of the persons license plate at your home or with a friend before getting into anyones car and make them aware of this fact.
Use technology – Smart phones are a brilliant tool and you can even use things like Find My iPhone or another phone tracking app for Android or Windows that can allow you to keep a record of your location and movements. Again let the person you are meeting know this if it makes you feel more comfortable.
Best Sites for love, Online Romance & Internet Dating
Match.com – One of the most famous and well marketed of the internet dating sites Match.com boasts a very impressive database of users globally and while it is premium if you want to get any connections it is one of the more honest and effective of the options.
eHarmony.com – Another beomoth of online dating eHarmony provides a similarly good network to Match and a similarly priced subscription, feedback and reviews are good and like any advise we always urge our readers to seek reviews and feedback in the public domain regarding all internet dating websites.
UniformDating – A dating website aimed specifically at people who wear a uniform in their professional life and those who are attracted to people in uniforms. A bit of an odd one but I guess there are a lot of quirky dating sites out there, this is possibly one of a few still worth mentioning despite their ultra-targetted niche dating.
MeetUp – Meetup is more than just a dating site, it is a social site for people online to arrange group meets offline. That said there are plenty of groups on here for singles to meet in a group enviroment which is relaxed and reduces the pressure, allowing you to mix with several people of the opposite sex and with people of the same sex also. This is one that is great for single females that are apprehensive about randomly meeting one person on a one on one basis after talking online and removes the online interaction element somewhat. Bridging the gap between online internet dating and traditional dating at a restaurant, bar or other public place.
Zoosk – Zoosk is only fairly recently on our radar and seems to be not too bad though is not a dating site that has blown us away with anything particularly unique other than having a fairly active group of users in a large number of regions and areas across the world.
Best Sites for Random Hook Ups, No Strings Attached Sex, Intimate Encounters & Internet Dating
Fetlife – BDSM / Fetish Dating – Probably the best website for intimate encounters and kinky fetishists looking to meet and/or chat about sex, kink, BDSM, Bondage and other aspects of the lifestyle. This website has been around for a number of years now but is by no means one of the oldest, it has however grown a massive global community of like-minded individuals and if you like your sex a little edgier and darker then this is your best place to start. You can make a donation to support Fetlife or you can simply use the site for free. Donating gives you access to a few extras such as being able to watch peoples videos etc however the site is perfectly functional without paying as most users only have photos anyway.
BeNaughty – Another very popular dating website for naughty people is BeNaughty, with a rich history of helping people hookup and find sexual pleasure online.
FabSwingers – Another good option if you are looking for no strings attached fun, swinging, random hook ups and sex meets online. There is a good community both in the UK and worldwide the site is free but does have a premium upgrade, that said the upgrade is not necessary for most features and so this gets a vote up from us.
CollarSpace – Previousl CollarMe this website split when the two owners had a falling out, one left in charge of the CollarMe domain and the other the server and website. The latter moved the site and all of its contents to a new domain leaving the other owner with well just a domain name and no website. The CollarMe owner has made a blurb about what happened from their perspective and claimed to be launching a new website, though time passes and the site doesn’t seem to be back up and active. This site can be good and does have a lot of fans though in our opinion is mostly filled with face findomme accounts and hasn’t evolved or added any new features or design for eons. Worth a look but don’t get your hopes up. The sites design is minimal but stylish and works very well most of the time, though kinkychat (the live chat feature) does play up quite often, fortunately you can send a message instead if this happens.
AdultFriendFinder – A premium adult website which seems to have been around and heavily advertising since the early days of the internet when people still had conversations for hours on Yahoo or MSN messenger and has stood the test of time. The site is premium and paid if you want to actually contact anyone and is in our opinion still not as good as sites like Fetlife for this kind of dating online. With a user base of over 40 million people looking for casual sex you would have to be the elephant man to not get laid (Sorry John).
PlentyofFish – A site that has been around for a very long time and despite quite an ugly design the website is very popular with an extremely large user base. The site is for all forms of dating though notorious for people using it as a hook up site for no strings sex. The website hasn’t evolved all that much over the years and has some very silly policies however is a good place to look. That said don’t be surprised to see your next door neighbour or old school friend when browsing though the thousands and thousands of profiles.
OkCupid – Another dating site which has been around for a while and is mostly available for free with a decent sized user base and known for being associated with hook ups.
Tinder – Considered the ultimate hook up app and smartphone app for intimate encounters Tinder lets you decide if you like someone via yes and no, if you have a mutual like then you can begin to talk and see if that person wants to meet. The app uses your GPS to find singles in your area.
Blendr – Another hook up app which is not as big or popular as Tinder and has a similar system, the name is a play on the next app which is a dating and hook up app targeted towards gay and bisexual men.
Grindr – Grindr is the most renowned app for sex and hook ups in the gay community and has a very large user base while also using a similar system to Tinder in terms of finding local singles via GPS.
Badoo – Badoo has one of those tricky and clever freemium models to lure you into paying, it is not too bad and has a fair amount of users but is still hard to use as a free service to speak to people you want to start a conversation with. Worth mentioning as it is still active but probably bottom of the list.
Sites for Escorts & Other Arrangements
If you too busy for dating and a relationship and want to just pay for your fun and intimate relations then why not try out an escorting site. These sites are often not all about the traditional form of escorting as you can also enjoy webcam shows, phone sex and other intimate experiences with others using the sites below.
AdultWork.com – If you are looking to pay for your pleasure then adultwork is the largest community of adult service providers, male, female, transsexual whatever tickles your fancy and providing a wide range of services from phone sex, webcam sex and videos to escorting and girlfriend experience.
SeekingArrangement.com – If Being a sugar daddy or sugar doll is your flavour and you are seeking a mutually beneficial arrangement then this could be a good suit for you. A service which of course involves paying girls for their time or getting paid for your time if you are a girl. This is aimed specifically at the dd/lg dynamic involving older male > younger female preferred relations.
So How Do I Find Love or a Sex Partner Online?
Now that you have a) decided what or who you are looking for b) considered all of the safety considerations c) looked through the various websites for the different types of internet dating the next step is to pick one or two, no more straight away and sign up for an account so you can create your profile and begin searching for matches.
Profile Tips for Internet Dating
Upload clear and recent photos – Nobody wants to see what you looked like 5 years ago and people want to see your face.
Smile in your photo! People want to spend time with happy folk!
Fill out your profile properly, don’t rush it.
Try not to be too forward, keep some cards close to your chest for later.
Tips for Writing Your Message
Don’t copy and paste, or if you really must at least edit the message to make it specific, that said the more original and unique your message is the better your chances of getting a reply.
Avoid bad spelling, grammar and txt speech lyk dis. Intelligence is attractive to both sexes!
Don’t give out your phone number, location or full name too early. Flirt a little.
Know when to close. If you think the other person is ready to go the next level and sense the vibe then suggest maybe meeting in a public place and having a coffee.
Have manners! Manners are free! Remember that saying? Use them!
Don’t be discouraged if at first you don’t succeed brush yourself off and try again. That wasn’t a sexual innuendo.
Dating Sites which Used to be Good
There are of course several sites which were once dominant in the internet dating field and allowing people to meet and chat online and offline. Some of these are worth mentioning for legacy reasons and also so you can see that they are probably worth avoiding these days for a variety of reasons such as lack of profiles and regular activity, fake profiles, poor functionality and so on.